Sunday, 7 September 2014

Doing The Waltz With Your Murderer // Badd Blood

This is the first post in a while; frankly I just haven't felt like posting, maybe theres been nothing to tell, maybe there has been and I just haven't realised but whatever it was its now broken.

As of right now I'm in a state of not really knowing - I mean I dont know if I'm happy just now.

I'm in my dream job - sure and I am enjoying it and theres this chick there that I kinda really like and would love for something to happen with.  Thing is I dont think (if ANYTHING was to happen) that it'd be smart, being with someone you work with could be tricky and whatever.

Something else is just I dont feel myself, yet I feel more like myself than ever.  I feel that aesthetically I am myself again; I look great and feel so much confidence with how I LOOK, but when it comes to internally, and how I am actually feeling and stuff I just dont know.  I feel I've lost motivation on things that were, and still are, important to me - working out used to be my thing, and I got to a place where I was really happy with how I looked, definition and everything.  Now I've felt myself just slip away and kinda lose that motivation.  Could it be simply just a tiredness of it?  I have been slaving away at the same sort of routine for like a year now.  Or is it that I have become lazy?  Hell, could be because lately I have been so exhausted from work that spending two hours every night doing intense workouts just didn't sound appealing?  Maybe my body has just given up and wants a prolonged rest?  Heck it could be all of these, or even none of them!!

I dont know, maybe I'm being too serious, or maybe I'm not being serious enough. Maybe I'm overthinking some things, yet maybe I'm not thinking enough about them.

I guess that right now my life is throwing me alot of "maybe's" and not enough answers.

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