The last few days have been the most constantly pain filled I think I've ever had and today I got to the point where I just couldn't do anything. I couldn't walk, I didn't want to work, I couldn't stand, I just wanted to collapse but even then my foot would be throbbing so that wouldn't help at all. I just wanted out; out of everything and just not feel this pain I've felt for so long now.
I know I seem to complain alot about it, but honestly, whenever I've been around people, talking, laughing, whatever - if anyone is reading this and has been around me or anything like that in the last two months, just so you know: I've felt like crying and screaming in pain pretty much 24/7. I struggle putting on a pair of socks, I can barely walk at the best of times, and every second of every day for the last two months my foot has been throbbing and all I can think about is when I'll be getting my surgery!
That day is coming though, tomorrow I get my surgery to fix my toe!!!
I'm super pumped for it and just want it over and done with - not that its all that sore, I mean I had the exact thing in December so I'm not scared or whatever, more just wanting it done as quickly as possible, so I can rush home and get in my bed with some vinyl on before the anesthesia wears off and my toe starts killing more than ever.
I dont want to get graphic, but I've actually not said to anyone what specifically is wrong; the thing is my toe is broken and theres nothing much that can be done for that really, what the surgery is for is what has been caused by this. My toe broke in a way that pushed my nail INTO my toe, and with it growing, it rips into my foot every time I move it, so now you can understand how simply walking is pure agony.
Em, onto other things, yesterday I spent the entire day with peeps I work with in like a fun day. Went go-karting and then this laser-tag thangy. Was a fun day out, but I totally felt like blowing chunks all over the shop after I got my - go-karting made me so damn dizzy and sick!
Errrr errr errr I suppose thats really, I am in pain and that wont be totally changing for atleast another few days but atleast after those days I'll be fine(r). Oh, I am working overtime majorly next week, like 2 full days that sucks so damn hard! I really want to rest and have already been moaned at for taking it up but honestly I just need the money and again its probably just my stupid sense of pride or my stupid sense of never wanting to let anyone down but I've agreed and will see how things go - I think I should be good enough to do them and in the end I'll have a boatload of money off of it so its worth it in the longrun.
The way I see it, with this extra money I can look after myself, be more comfortable and be able to help out when it comes to paying for things in my flat.
I THINK this is it, I mean I dont have much more to write about; I mainly just wanted to rant and rave about just how in pain I am and how meh I've been feeling over the last while, physically. It has been weighing on my mind and controlling what I can do and how happy I actually am and everything like that.
Not that many funny gifs either, again this was more just me opening myself up and letting out stuff that I've tried not to take out on anyone for the last few months.
Bye.
No comments:
Post a Comment