Killer Be Killed:Kill Or Be Killed

"But I'll slow down for you, and if you can speed up we'll both share something new, 'cause I've grown tired of hiding half truths, full pictures are the harshest ones to view"

What a difference a few hours can make; in a matter of 2 hours I have went from feeling worthless to feeling how I should feel - like I am THE greatest in the world!

I'm sitting with a bright neon red vinyl blaring at .45 revolutions per minute just inches away from me, and I feel so cleansed of all the ultra anger I felt.  I sit here realising what makes me ME, what makes me an individual and what makes me different from anyone else that you have ever met ever before.  

I am dedicated.

I have just busted my ass in one of the quickest workouts I have ever done, I pushed myself and didn't stop for the sweat, the blood or the pain - I pushed on and that is the essence of me.  I dont quit, and I will not stop pursuing what I want if I feel that I am deserved it.  I set out my clothes for tomorrow and I realised just how fucking good I look, looking in the mirror at my white Jordan Buckley World Wide shirt, blue denim overshirt and black skinnys I was so elated, and then when I undressed I looked again and I saw my abs, I saw my six-pack and my monstrous chest and I saw my vascular-stricken body.  I realised that whatever isn't going for me now is just another obstacle that I need to destroy and then piss on it; maybe others that are undeserving have things, maybe they look down at me for wearing eyeliner, in the end FUCK them and FUCK everything.  I used to be a chubby little kid that was told that I was super close to diabetes, hell I was told not too long ago that I should have been dead from an appendicitis (!!), know what I did?  I fucking started working out when my appendix was rupturing, I was doing sit-ups when my appendix burst!
Tomorrow I start a job that I have been pining for, been applying for and been begging for for 4 years now - I didn't get this by lying in my bed watching Netflix!

What I dont have now, which is very little, and what I want now, which is the same, I will have because I am the most dedicated person you or anyone else has met!